There's a beautiful madness within my soul.
Have you ever stepped into a new place and just felt with every part of your being that, "This is home."?
I arrived yesterday after nine months of preparing, praying, waiting, saving, working, wishing.
And I'm here. I'm in the only place in the world that has captured my heart and locked it up in the colonial buildings of rainbow colors and three towering volcanos that are sleeping dragons but oh so peaceful in the morning sun.
I don't understand it. Because I love, love Wisconsin. I love, love the life I was raised in. The place I was born will always be my comfort and safety and a place I will cherish and run back to.
But arriving yesterday, within a minute I remembered my love for this place. Within an hour, I remembered why I think I want to live here. Within six hours, I was still in a strange space of not believing this is actually real after dreaming of coming back for so long, but clinging to the peace and love and happiness overflowing from my soul.
After three restless days preparing and traveling on little sleep, I was so ready to be here. I arrived, excitement growing as a good friend picked me up from the airport and drove me to Antigua. We played happy music and danced in our seats and complained about the traffic and caught up on all we've missed in the last nine months.
I got settled in a hostel, wandered the streets, splurging on .75 cents worth of fruit that was a good sized snack and was treated to dinner by another great friend that I surprised with my presence.
And I woke up and ran up the mountain to the cross looking down on the colorful town, the sun rising forcefully casting dreaming shadows and revealing the volcanos splendor.
I sat and watched in silence the town that was still sleeping and thought over and over, "This is home." I don't know why. I don't really know what I'm doing. I don't know if I can survive here. I have barely any money, no job, and just my backpacks full of clothes and supplements.
But right now that's not really important, because I am completely convinced that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
And for now, that is enough.
